On Becoming “Slightly” Addicted to Facebook

    A confession.

  

  I’ve become “slightly” addicted to Facebook. A few years ago, long after the young folks had discovered and embraced this new form of social media and after a number of older, more hip, computer-savvy users had realized this platform offered a great way to share photos and otherwise keep up with distant family and friends, I wandered in and set up an account.

       My personal discovery coincided with the arrival of many other Baby Boomers. Soon, I was making contacts with classmates I hadn’t seen in years. We exchanged our greetings, along with our astonishment that so many years had passed since we were in high school. Then it seemed we quickly ran out of things to say. Or at least I did.

    

    The Facebook connections did prove useful in getting the word out about our class’s 40^th year reunion, an event that I took the lead in organizing. The turnout was not huge; still, enough of us showed up at the Alumni Banquet and the party afterwards to make the effort worthwhile.

   Then I sort of lost interest, telling myself I had better uses for my spare hours. Admittedly, I sort of looked down my nose at the whole affair. Plus—and I think this is still a valid point—I felt people were sharing a little too much personal information about themselves and their families as well as telling all of us how they were feeling.

  I favor privacy and maintaining a certain detachment. As a writer of over 40 years, I believe I’ve found what I consider the proper and comfortable distance between myself and the reader when, on occasion, I decide to be confessional in a commentary.

    But, while I might open the door to the innermost sanctum once in awhile and allow a peek inside, I’m not interested in conducting regular guided tours. For the most part, I think my assorted skeletons look just fine in the closet.

    With social media, the temptation abandon this firmly-held conviction is alluring. In the heat-of-the-moment, I’m apt to share more than I planned.

    Nowadays--even though I spend much of my working hours in front of a computer, formatting stories that are emailed to us, writing articles and photo captions, and forwarding ad copy to our graphic designers—I come home, grab a refreshment and snack, and head to the upstairs bedroom that I have fashioned into a combination study and retreat.

   There I turn on the laptop, pull up the chair, turn on the nearby radio for some background music, and proceed to surf the internet. I check out various news sites, read a few of the articles and opinion pieces that catch my interest, and finally, no longer able to put it off any longer, wander over to Facebook.

    I don’t have a huge number of Facebook friends, but enough to keep me scrolling down the screen, post after post, for several minutes. The diversity of what they put on or share amazes me. It ranges from personal photos coupled with humorous or heartfelt accounts of family happenings (probably still the best use of this social media) to heartfelt human-interest stories to the funny antics of pets.

   As I mentioned in a previous commentary, a lot of the offerings are photographs or illustrations with a message. In the parlance of social media, these are called Memes. They can be inspiring, uplifting, thought-provoking, poignant, funny, informative, derogatory, sarcastic, off-the-wall, and rabble rousing.

     Over the past few months, more and more of the posts fall within the realm of politics and current events—postings that are intended to support or oppose specific presidential candidates or take a stand on controversial, hot-button issues.

    The more passionate partisans who are on my site—many of them longtime acquaintances—span the ideological spectrum in their political and social beliefs. A few of them are quite prolific in their sharings.

    At first, not realizing the social etiquette, I commented on a few of the ones I disagreed with or felt did not take into consideration an important point. Nothing overtly critical, I thought, just my natural inclination to engage in what I consider a reasonable back-and-forth exchange. That’s me… ever the saint.

   Not getting any response, and after becoming more familiar with the lay of the land, I quickly surmised that people (understandably) are seeking support for their comments and positions, not opinions to the contrary. This is not a genteel debating society, but rather a visual game of hard ball—even more so in the midst of a heated political campaign. People are putting up their posts to show where they stand and, thus, are little inclined to entertain any views to the contrary. I acknowledge that inclination, being somewhat stubborn in my own stances.

    Our elders used to say we should avoid talking politics and religion at social gatherings or family reunions in order to avoid arguments and, I assume, strain these tender relationships. The same could probably apply to Facebook. Still, that’s easier said than done.

    My concern of possible overindulgence is that, not only am I

increasingly checking out what’s on my wall, but more and more I’m becoming an active participant. Like so many others, I’m starting to share a lot of news stories and opinion pieces I’ve come across elsewhere on the internet. These are articles that I’ve found informative or (Guess what?) they reflect or bolster my personal viewpoints.

    Ever the opportunistic businessman, I’ve even included a link to the web site where I post my own columns, heralding to one and all the arrival each week of a brand new contribution to the public conservation. My secret hope is that they get a lot of ‘likes’ or, better yet, some ‘shares.’ One of the reasons I go on Facebook is to see if this has occurred.

    As far as commenting on or replying to other people’s postings, it’s harmless enough (I hope) to make a teasing remark to one of the classmates I went to school with (usually one of the gals), or to share memories of a once-popular musical group or TV show we grew up listening to or watching. And it seems more than appropriate to offer a condolence when a friend loses a loved one or when someone is facing a medical treatment or to marvel at what a grandchild or young niece or nephew has accomplished.

   Where my Facebook involvement might be turning into a fatal attraction is that I’m getting caught up in the partisan back-and-forth. I read the assorted offerings on my wall as well as on those news sites that I routinely. Suddenly, the blood stirs, and I start composing a remark.

   That might not be a big deal if I just stated “Agree” or “Great Post.” Alas, I’m a creature of habit—an old dog set in his ways. When I write, I tend to elaborate. My commentaries or responses are short and concise (from my vantage point); usually less than a hundred words. However, on social media where tweets, likes, and one liners are the norm, these rambles are akin to War and Peace.

   Of course, in my newspaper columns—including this one—I’m just getting wound up at a hundred words.

   Perhaps, when all is said and done, I’m just adding to the glut on the internet with my pithy remarks, another talking head trying to find room to speak in the already crowded forum. Social media, it seems, is just another venue where too often we preach to the choir but otherwise talk past each other—our comments applauded by those who are like-minded and ignored or chided by those who disagree.

    I enjoy compliments as much as the next person. Even so, I work under the assumption (or presumption) that I might be persuasive; able to change a reader’s perspective and, in doing so, possibly alter how they view an issue or event.

    While I have faith this is still possible in print commentaries—and will remain so for the remainder of my participation—I wonder how effective my style of communication (the longer article) is in the rapid-fire world of sound bites and nearly instantaneous back-and-forth exchanges and sharing of posts that dominate much of social media. Can the essay maintain its relevance in the age of the tweet?

    Realizing I may be out of my element, I’ve considered going cold turkey and staying away from this participation. Keep my mouth shut and my fingers off the keyboard. However, there are others who have shared posts of what I consider to be thoughtful stories, messages, and points-of-view. I hate to see these efforts—especially when they come from younger people--ignored or given only a casual glance. For many of them, this is the only means of taking part in the discussion and debate, or at least the most convenient. I want to encourage their interest and engagement as much as possible by acknowledging their Meme with my muse.

   While this brave new world of communicating with each other may be speeding past me, leaving me in the dust so to speak, I’ll keep trudging along; keep posting my commentaries in print and on the internet. As for those Facebook sharings and replies, I’ll try to remember that the best course is to be prudent and cautious. Let cool reason prevail. And that quality is better than quantity. We’ll see how well that goes.

   A desire to express myself has always been my greatest addiction. It’s an affliction that, as yet, I have no desire to cure.